Gratitude for Setbacks: Maybe Pollyanna was Right

Loomis Dean/Time Life Pictures/Getty Images. Hayley Mills starred in the 1960 film, Pollyanna.



I am glad to be alive. It’s normal to take this for granted, but it’s wonderful to really feel it. Yes, life is complicated, life can be hard, and maybe there are no easy answers. Loss is inevitable. I’ve had a rough year. But it’s good to be alive.

The 1913 children’s book “Pollyanna” has become a cultural icon (a.k.a. cliché) because of the eponymous character’s insistence upon looking on the bright side, finding the silver lining in every cloud, always looking for something to be glad about. To call someone “a Pollyanna” nowadays is considered insulting, a reference to naïvete and being out of touch with reality: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pollyanna

I understand that pessimism is fashionable and that disaster-mongering is the key to success for the news media. I get it that pessimists are comfortable with their “never wrong and rarely disappointed” attitudes. I was raised by a pessimist, famous for saying “People are no d--- good.” He found plenty of proof for this attitude. But he did not have a happy life, or a long one. If it’s true that we can’t control what happens to us, only how we respond to it, then maybe it’s worth choosing the point of view that is associated with greater happiness and better health. Not long ago, National Public Radio Weekend Edition did a special report on “The Pollyanna Effect” (you can click to read the transcript or listen to the radio interview).

Some lucky people are just born with a sunny disposition. For the rest of us, it’s something we can learn. In fact, learned optimism is just as powerful as innate optimism. Here’s a free online self-test from Stanford University, based on the work of Martin Seligman, PhD. and here is a link to Dr. Seligman’s best-seller “Learned Optimism: Change Your Mind, Change Your Life” .

Lately I’ve been told that I’m a Pollyanna. I wish this remark would be delivered with the humble gratitude that I feel in my heart. Within the past year I’ve had pain, cancer, financial setbacks, loss of loved ones – and I know I’ve had the company of thousands of other brave souls enduring similar or worse ordeals. As a result of this series of setbacks, life has more clarity for me now than before: What I love, I really love! As for the rest, I don’t have time for it any more. The kindness and unexpected generosity of oh-so-many people and circumstances has piled up to a mountain of overwhelming gratitude. While I would not wish a series of setbacks on anyone, the bottom line is this: the payback has been tremendous. Clarity of purpose, and clarity of gratitude, are precious gifts in this life. So call me a sap. I’m a happy sap who is glad to be alive.

-Dr. Deborah McKay, Naturopathic Physician, Clinical Consultant, ZRT Laboratory